I am so happy for you Noni. You are right what is the point to wallow in this sad existence forever. I went back to school as an adult and it was such a life changing experience. I am sure your words will inspire many people here. However, I still think I will be forever dented if not damaged by WBTS as a middle aged person that has lost family and life long friends and had really built my whole life around this religion, it's going to leave a mark. It's not totally disfiguring, it doesn't define me, but it will always be there. Great post! NMKA
no more kool aid
JoinedPosts by no more kool aid
-
28
Do you think you are forever damaged by the Watchtower??
by noni1974 ini've been out since 1998 so i've had time to learn how to be normal.
i've had time to get over the pain and hurt of shunning by those who claimed to love me.
i really can't blame them because my mom was born in too.
-
-
-
14
Who owns the Kingdom Halls?
by dissed ini only ask this because when in, our kh was on leased tribal land and the local jw's could never really get title.
in fact it was difficult to secure a loan from the wts, so we got one privately because of that.
they didn't like the part in the tribes contract that said they could take the building if we didn't fullfill our charter with them and it had to be listed with some local native americans of that tribe and not the elders.
-
-
no more kool aid
There is a congregation near us where a sweet little sister attended, never married, no children, no family in the truth. When she died she donated her estate and it was her wish that the congregation's mortgage be paid off so there would be less of a burden for younger families. Next thing you know there was a new light! The chariot changed direction! The territory maps were re drawn, that congregation was moved to a building with a big mortgage ( much farther away) and two foreign speaking congregations were moved to the paid for Hall. When anyone questioned this they were made very much made to feel they were not cooperating with holy spirit. I get that the congregation is responsible for dept, society's when it is an asset.
-
31
privilleges equals spirituality
by stillin inwhat a sad joke!
posters here talk about the "do more" pushiness in the organization and that is so true!
elders just assume that you want to carry microphones and work your way up the spiritual ladder to that blissful state of total immersion in "kingdom matters.
-
-
no more kool aid
I always felt bad for the 57 year old guy that's JW career got sidetracked by a wayward kid or health problems, then if he wants to be anybody again he has to pass mics and shovel snow again, while the 34 year old elder sits there. Couldn't do it! NMKA
-
20
Mother who blackmails me into this BS
by cia112 inwell my mom has been a jw ever since i was 5 but was studying since before i was born, i am now 21 and hate every minute of it.
i could never stand it, she knows i dont like it but still makes me go preaching and go to the meetings and what not, your probably asking yourself why dont i just leave?
well shes the one who pays for my college and everything tht i need.
-
-
no more kool aid
Welcome, I think you have received fantastic advice. Play along for now, it is a means to an end. Y-knot said it best, get good grades, practice safe sex, keep your nose clean. Really this is the best path to take, get out when the time is right on cordial terms with your Mom. Sounds like you can have a great life ahead of you! NMKA
-
12
XJWs, do you look forward to and enjoy weekends? As a Dub did you not look forward to weekends?
by miseryloveselders inevery friday at my job, i hear the usual.
"its friday!!
" "i'll be better in three more hours!!
-
-
no more kool aid
We laughed so hard reading your post this morning, but we were just talking about this issue a lot this weekend. Yesterday we started to get the soil ready for our garden, mowed the lawn for the first time, did a general clean up around the house then went out to hear some great music and dinner. We would have never done all that before because you had service Sat morning that just zapped all life out of me and went I felt like I could move again, time to get the gang ready for Sunday, UGH!
Did anyone have the public talk/ watchtower on Friday night?? That is how my husband and I spent our youth. Friday night meeting! They were always giving needs talks about how we can prove how faithful we are by missing football games and any fun at all to be at that meeting. Then of course there was service on Sat morn, book study on Sun morn (yes we were encouraged to go out in service after that too)
BTW, prying for throat cancer never worked, however Monday always came, thank god! NMKA
-
31
I have a question for you all......
by its_me! inmy sister visited me a few months ago, and she was on a holy roller, 'save my soul' kick.
she told me that i needed to get back to the meetings because armageddon was so near.
i told her that if i serve jehovah, it will not be because i am afraid of dying at armageddon, it will be because i love him and have a personal relationship with him.
-
-
no more kool aid
Yes, my family uses that all the time. They say "you were always a good mother, why are you willing to just let your kids die now". UGH. What they don't know, is that like you, I did what they all wanted for many years out of fear of Armageddon and not wanting to loose my family. NMKA
-
40
I wish I could just not give a Sh!t about being an XJW!
by cyberjesus inmy whole freaking family is still in.
i am 5th generation and i use to have tons and tons of "friends" that are still in.
when i was little my dad was co substitute for years so we got to travel alot and meet even more jws.
-
-
no more kool aid
Cyberjesus, we all get it. My husband and I have just given in to fact that we are going to be a messed up the rest of out lives. Our older kids will be a little messed up and the little ones will probably come out unscathed. So what are our choices? Had to get to kids out, you did the right thing! I have noticed some days are worse than others, this is a bad time of year because they are all on us about at least coming to the memorial. I didn't go (2nd year for me) so I am really getting the silent treatment. I hate to say this, but it is true for me, I think when the older generation is gone, it may get a little easier, I won't have anyone holding that old emotional noose around my neck anymore. In the meantime glad you are going back to school and dancing, stay positive for those kids. NMKA
-
18
Who do you consider as a friend ??
by troubled mind inwhen we were witnesses every other witness was our "friend" ,but more often than not they were just aquantinces involved in the same religion as we were .
at the time i felt i would have given my life for others in my hall .
i tried very hard to be a good friend to others by showing personal interest in their lives and offering encouragement or help when they needed it ,but i never really felt a real connection with most .. i always wanted to have a friend and be the type of friend that could just stop by to shoot the breeze at anytime and feel welcome .
-
-
no more kool aid
Friends are hard to come by, especially for those of us that thought we has lots of "friends" and in an instant they were gone, then on top of it most family is gone too. Thankfully I kept up a few friendships with "worldly" people over the years and they have been there for me. My husband is my friend now more than ever. I noticed when I was a witness having a friendship was so difficult because it was based on so may rules. For instance you may be friendly with a family and one of their kids became "bad association" there went that friendship or if you were not on the same wrung of the spiritual ladder, that could be difficult too. I had absolutely nothing in common with most of the women at our congregation because I worked and most of them stayed home and many home schooled, therefore kids didn't really fit in either.
-
64
Did leaving the WT build greater appreciation for or kill your reading of the Bible?
by lepermessiah ini am really on the fence on this issue right now and would love some opinions.. i find that i dont sit down and read the bible for long periods since becoming inactive, but on the other hand, individual scriptures mean much more to me now.. i will sit down and look up some favorite passages from time to time and feel like its the first time i really "got it" - without the jw goggles on.
i love matthew chapter 23, since i think it describes to a tee the situation in jw congregations.
i think if jesus returned today, he would blast the elders and "leaders" of the borg in a similar fashion (along with most religious leaders) .matthew 24 is actually more interesting to me now, simply because my whole life was waiting for the 1914 generation to end sometime during the reagan era!
-
-
no more kool aid
I tried to read the bible on my own when I first left. The old JW stuff just resonated with every passage I read and I was unable to separate them. It was like I was trying to read with JW sh*t stained glasses. I gave up!
-
138
What year Did you Stop Attending Meetings - How Long were you a JW ?
by flipper ini'm trying to compare some statistics and figures on this to share later in the thread to see if more long-time witnesses are exiting- or are newer witnesses exiting after a shorter period of time.
and - are more people exiting in the last 10 to 15 years than before.
so your answers would be helpful in looking into this .
-
-
no more kool aid
Stopped service, meetings and association 2008. Born in- 43 years.